Derds and the women who love them

Imagine that there is an English word smack dab in the middle of the semanti-scape between 'nerd' and 'dork.' Pretend that the word is 'derd.' Here is a list of the derdiest physical artifacts:

1) Broken horn-rimmed glasses with a piece of tape in the middle
2) Pocket protector
Tied for 3) Fanny Pack
Tied for 3) Suspenders
Tied for 3) Orthodontic head gear


Further suggestions for artifacts that should be listed under "Tied for 3)" are welcome and encouraged. Comment containing arguments regarding "1)" and "2)" will be mocked and subsequently deleted.