It's MAGIC!

I should buy a bunch of Magic 8 Balls, break them open, clean the blue off them and resell them to geeks as Magic D20s.

Another Seth and Grumpers

Today's S&G is titled: Sonnet Fu

Please avoid enjoying this doggerel at all costs. Its prosaic and clumsy attempt to hack down the tree of humor is an insult to the art form. The author's execution should be aired on prime time television.

The latest S&G

Here's the latest Seth and Grumpers -- the world's worst web comic.

You know that experiment where you put chicken bones in vinegar and they eventually get all rubbery?

Well, what if you could hold a mouthful of vinegar for a real long time? Then your teeth would get all rubbery and awesome!

Science!

Time for PUNishment

Lemma 1: Making puns is evil.
Lemma 2: Evil people deserve retribution.

Extrapolation 1: People who make puns are evil.
Extrapolation 2: People who make puns deserve retribution.

Conclusion: The next time you hear someone make a pun (and every time thereafter), you should (morally speaking) punch him or her in the mouth, while holding a bottle of vanilla extract in your fist.

Idea: Make a robot that is programmed to mug people. The robot then takes the proceeds from its actions to RadioShack and purchases enough parts to make a copy of itself. The copy and the original continue the scheme, until there are no more robot parts. Or no more people to mug. Or no more RadioShacks. We will call them Mug-U-Latorz!

Unsung Heroes

So, here's my latest awesome idea. A series of children's stories, each featuring a new and exciting historical figure who is as ridiculous as they are unappreciated.

Currently started: Athanasius Kircher is held hostage by pirates and threatened with death unless he bakes the best pastry they have ever eaten.

Other people to be written about:
John Dee
Evariste Galois
Antoine-Augustin Parmentier

Who else is important to include in the list?